How Leaders Can Build Instant Rapport

#leadership #likeability #listening #rapport #storytelling

 Stepping into a new leadership role is exhilarating—and daunting. As a new leader, your first moves set the tone. Research from Princeton University tells us that likability is assessed in a fraction of a second. It's important to get those brief moments right.

In a recent episode of Some Goodness, host Richard Ellis sat down with Eva Daniel, founder of The Speak Shop, to explore the art and science of likability in leadership. The conversation was full of practical advice for leaders who want to create rapport and likeabilty.

 

Why Likability Is Essential for Leadership

It’s easy to focus on strategies and deliverables when starting a new role. But as Eva Daniel points out, likability isn’t a bonus—it’s a vital leadership tool.

Why? Because when people genuinely like you, they’re more likely to:

  • Align with your vision and take ownership of it.

  • Go above and beyond to deliver results.

  • Build bridges across teams and functions.

  • Feel motivated to stay committed to your mission.

Likability doesn’t mean being everyone’s best friend. It means creating an environment where people feel valued, trusted, and excited to collaborate.

 

Practical Tips for Building Instant Rapport

Those initial encounters with your team, board, or peers set the stage for everything that follows. First impressions shape whether you’re seen as approachable, credible, or distant. And once those impressions take root, they’re hard to rewrite.

1. Master Nonverbal Communication
Body language speaks louder than words—here’s how to make sure it’s saying the right things:

  • Show your palms: Open palms signal trust and honesty. In virtual meetings, keep gestures visible by staying about 18–24 inches from the camera.

  • Maintain strong eye contact: Aim for eye contact 60–70% of the time during in-person conversations. On video calls, look directly into the camera while speaking to create a sense of connection.

  • Use the “eyebrow flash”: A quick eyebrow raise during a greeting conveys warmth and recognition, subtly signaling that you’re approachable.

2. Be Present Beyond the Boardroom
Building relationships requires more than formal meetings.

  • Walk the floor.

  • Join casual lunches or team gatherings.

  • Make time for unstructured moments—this is often where trust grows.

3. Get Personal, But Stay Genuine

  • Share relatable stories about your own experiences—moments of struggle or learning resonate deeply.

  • Take an interest in your team’s drivers and aspirations. Use one-on-one meetings to uncover what matters most to each individual.

4. Show Up Online, Too

  • Post authentically on platforms like LinkedIn. Share your thoughts on leadership and lessons learned—not just press releases or corporate updates.

 

What to Avoid When Building Connections

Some missteps can derail even the best intentions:

  • Forcing relationships: Trust grows naturally—don’t rush it.

  • Neglecting names: Take the time to learn and use everyone’s name. Nothing signals a lack of investment like getting it wrong.

  • Skipping small talk: Those brief, informal exchanges often create the strongest bonds.

 

The Power of Active Listening

One of the simplest and most overlooked ways to build trust is to truly listen.

  • Ask open-ended questions: Spark deeper conversations by moving beyond yes-or-no inquiries.

  • Listen for emotion: Notice enthusiasm, hesitation, or concern in someone’s voice—and follow up thoughtfully.

  • Stay fully present: Put the phone down. Close the laptop. People feel valued when they have your undivided attention.

From First Impressions to Long-Term Trust

While first impressions matter, trust is built over time. Here’s how to make those initial connections stick:

  • Communicate often, with transparency and authenticity. Weekly updates or small personal insights can go a long way.

  • Celebrate successes—whether it’s a shout-out in a meeting or a handwritten note, recognition matters.

  • Be consistent. Show up for formal commitments and informal gatherings alike.

 

The Big Picture

Eva summed it up best: “If people like you, they’ll want to do more for you.” Likability isn’t about popularity—it’s about creating an environment where people feel valued, seen, and motivated to bring their best to the table.

As a leader, every interaction is a chance to build connection and trust. Take those moments seriously. Because the best leaders know it’s not just about what you accomplish—it’s about who you inspire along the way.

Be sure to listen to to the full podcast here

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